Living the veiled life

An overcrowded bus heads in my direction… Although I should know better by now, the children convince me that there might me a small place for us left, so I prepare myself for the jungle, hoping to survive the bus drive home from the city centre. We seem to be in luck; two women are getting off the bus so we gently fight ourselves into the women´s section of the bus… Although crowded, the public transport system works perfectly in Iran, it is cheap and normally you would never have to wait more than ten minutes to find a bus in any direction. Furthermore, my children like the busses of Isfahan. They always make new friends, who, in their turn, always have a hard time hiding their curiosity about us. Subsequently, most of them don’t even try. So after we enter the bus, my children will in no time have found a good seat for themselves, like the lap of a grandmother or in between of two smiling young ladies who grab their change to practice their English…  The conversations are usually predictable. `Where do you come from?’, they ask me in there best English, followed by ‘Do you like Iran’ and ‘Don’t you miss your family?’ Family is everything in Iran!

Especially with the older ladies you can count on a fourth question: ‘What is your religion?” In The Netherlands you would never ask a stranger such a question and certainly not after knoing him or her for two minutes. In The Netherlands, religion is considered to be a private matter, although many assume in their turn that every foreigner is a (dangerous) Muslim, and thus, on twistable grounds are not willing to show him or her their hospitality, but that’s another story! Especially after having just arrived in Iran, I tended to choose the  easiest way out, and replied to this question in a simple way: ´I have become a Moslim´. In some ways this is true, because when you want to marry an Iranian man and live in Iran, you are requierd to convert to Islam. Most women were pleased with this answer and happy that I had made such a good decision. Sometimes a woman would continue: ‘And … are you a Sunni or a Shi’i…?’ Well, if you do something you must do it right, and since I’m living in Iran, so I became a Shi’i of course … An old lady I once met, got a special glance in her eyes, according to her I had definitely made the better choice!

This may be surprising for the (non-Moslim) Westerners amongst us; how can a woman in Iran be happy with this ´suppressing´ religion? But just as anywhere else in the world, people tend to see their own religion as  best, leaving the argument of whether their religion may have some aspects of inequality in it or not to the opponents of their religion. Besides, many people in Iran make a distinction between their religion, the political form of it and (suppressing) policies from the government. Of course this is just as true for women in Iran.

But although I don’t reject Islam, I’m not a Moslim with whole my heart. This caused me to start giving other answers after a while. Some people were satisfied with the answer that my father was a Catholic for example. Other people however wanted to know more. So lately, when I decided to give my own opinion, I got in trouble. I replied that in my opinion, it’s not important what you believe, but what you do, how you behave, how you act… The young woman nodded, seemed to understand my point and I was surprised, relieved and satisfied. She apparently was not, for she continued: ‘but … then what religion are your children?’  

Although many women in Iran are moderated religious, many at the same time oppose the most severe restrictions and influences from the government in both the public and private atmosphere. I suppose, no one likes to have big brother watching every move you make. Still, I think the lives and possibilities of the young in Iran depend more on their family and social pressures in society then on the governmental policies. For example, if they want girls can do nearly everything in Iran. You will find Iranian girls practicing adventure sports like karate, car-racing, crossbow-shooting, skating and skiing…

Sometimes however, a gap between the family, the social norms and governmental norms can lead to conflicting situations. Imagine a girl form a nearly secular family: she may be allowed to have a boyfriend, but when she goes out with him, they might get ‘caught’ by the moral police that’s trying to enforce gender segregation. Imagine a girl in love who’s not allowed to have a boyfriend at all, she has to defy her parents, neighbours and moral police! Or the girl who goes to university in another city. You can live on campus with its strict rules such as closing the doors at 9 pm, but also it’s noise and crowdedness: not the ideal place to study… Two girls could rent an apartment together, but that could be tricky. What if your future neighbours have a teenager boy or unmarried son? Next, what if you want to go onto your balcony without thinking about your veil? And what if your uncle drives you home a few times and happens to be in a different car every time? Gossip. Unbearable gossip for an Iranian family that must always think of its reputation.  

But if you talk about Iran, it’s not fair just to discuss women and Islam. Especially when you look at our Islamic Big Brother, the prescriptions from above regarding a decent appearance for example also reach Iran’s young men. ´They´, the gentlemen form the government are not only preoccupied with the length of the scarf, the colours and amount of nail polish and make up. No, also Iranian young men who might be trying to attract attention by giving their appearance an unique touch may get punished too. So even as a man: don’t be surprised if your striking haircut, tight T-shirt or capris will be criticized in Iran by the moral police or… even by your busybody aunt!

Deze post is bij wijze van uitzondering geschreven in het Engels. Hope you don’t mind!

Explore posts in the same categories: English Posts, Iran algemeen, religie, taboes

Tags: Iran, life in Iran, religion, youth

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